The Average Mum

Name: Lucy Wildon

(aka Mummy, Mum, Mummise, Mama, Honey and Oi!)

Age: 32

Hobbies: Baking, eating baked things, trying to diet, watching local live bands with friends and drinking wine.

Likes watching: Great British Bake Off, Masterchef, Superhero movies/TV shows, Game of Thrones, Neighbours, Snooker

Academic Qualifications: Sociology BA(hons), 2:1

Previous Employment: Business Support Officer (admin, basically), 

for Local Authority Adoption Team

A little ramble about me and my blog:

I have no particular qualifications related to children, apart from once being one and now somehow having created 3 of my own (I do actually know how that happened, don't worry!). I have been with my husband for 10 years and married for 7. We actually dated when I was 16, but it didn't work out and we spent 6 years apart before getting back together again. He's my soul mate, fucking irritating at times, but my soul mate nonetheless (he must be, he puts up with me!). We tried for 10 months to fall pregnant with our first child, and eventually had Freya when I was 26, Anya followed almost exactly 2 years later, and Edith 2 1/2 years after that. I worked part-time after having Freya and Anya, but decided to become a stay-at-home mum after Edie was born. Financially, we would be much better off with me at work, (if childcare was free!), but logistically, getting everyone where they needed to be at the right time seemed an insurmountable task.  I was not convinced I would enjoy not having a job outside of my home (I still miss it sometimes), but I think we made the right decision for our current family situation. 

Now, I could tell you that my social life became extinct the moment I had kids (as many parents seem to), but for me that is actually not the case. It changed, but it didn't stop. Obviously in the first weeks after having each baby I wasn't out raving it up or anything, but as they each grew older I felt able to leave them with their father for an evening or two and go out with friends. In fact, now, I go out most weekends, to have a drink with friends and see a local band, or for dinner somewhere. Occasionally we even get a babysitter and I go out with my husband! Socialising is my life-line, it keeps me sane in the difficult times and brings me added joy in the good times. My kids are safe at home in their beds and I get to be Lucy. Wine drinking, karaoke singing, kebab eating, friend loving, crazy dancing, Lucy. I think it helps me to be a better mum, because I know 'mum' is not all that I am, Of cousre, almost all of my friends that I socialise regularly with are also mums, and they are not the same friends I had before I had children, but that's a whole different blog post!

This blog is meant to be my way of expressing my joy and frustrations at motherhood. I love my children more than anything, but I also hate all those cliché's and dross that people feel the need to post all over social media, for example the 'There is a boy who stole my heart, he calls me Mummy' - yuck. Controversial, I know, but hey, I just don't think that kind of thing is necessary. I believe that social media has only helped to increase the misguided belief that parenthood is all sunshine and roses, and that if you're not loving every bloody minute of it, then there's something wrong with you. Well let me tell you what I think, I think parenthood is awesome, but it is also shattering and draining and heart-wrenching. It is hard, and that's OK. It's OK to want to escape sometimes, it's OK to need a break, it's OK to admit that you're struggling and that you're not loving it today/this week/this month. And you know what? It's OK not to like your kids sometimes. Love them? Always. Like them? Not all the time. Let's face it, kids are annoying at times, and frustrating and so incredibly hard to like. And then they laugh at fart noises, or give you a cuddle and it's all forgotten - but those wonderful moments of love and joy can be separated by long periods of frustration.

Motherhood is also one long journey of not feeling good enough. Feeling like you have failed, beating yourself up over the stupid little things. 'Oh no, I forgot to put a drink in her lunch box', 'I forgot it was dress-down at school and my kid is the only one in uniform, I am the worst mother ever', 'I can't go on the school trip because I have other children to care for, how rubbish am I?' ' We didn't practice spellings because the 4 year old was being a little shit' (can you tell that most of my parenting hang-ups are around my eldest?! Quite common I think...) And on and on it goes, and the children will never know (until they maybe have kids of their own) just how inadequate you felt, and how you wished you had been better, and how you berated yourself. Listen, you are not superhuman, you can't do it all, no matter how hard you try, give yourself a break, and let me make you feel better by sharing my failings with you, and let's just all realise that shit happens but life goes on.

Anyway, basically my blog is my therapy (it's much cheaper than counselling!). I hope people read and enjoy it too, and who knows, it might even help someone to realise that they are not alone on this weird and wonderful roller-coaster of parenting.