"There's nothing wrong with being ginger"

"There's nothing wrong with being ginger". This is an expression I hear quite often, because I have a redheaded daughter. And yet, if people truly believe that, then why do they even feel the need to say it? I agree entirely, there IS nothing wrong with having ginger hair, but I also understand that it is a cause of bullying and piss-taking. I know this because I have been guilty of it myself, in the past, and know of others who still are.  It's not that people actually care about the colour of someone else's hair, it's that human beings will find anything they can that's different about someone, and use it against them if they want to. Especially children; whether it's that kid with glasses, the one with 2 mums, the one with tatty shoes or the one with the red hair, kids are particularly good at being arseholes. But it seems that with redheads, this prejudice continues into adulthood, to a certain extent.

When Anya was born via c-section, I was lucky enough to have my mum (a midwife) in theatre with me, as well as my husband. My mum helped to bring Anya into this world, and held her even before my husband and I did. At the moment that Anya emerged from my womb, the first thing I remember my mum saying was 'Lucy, she's ginger!'. My mum doesn't dislike people with ginger hair, and she certainly loves her Anya to absolute bits (they're craft making buddies!), but I will wager that if Anya had been blonde or brunette, hair colour wouldn't have been mentioned in that first moment. It's one of those things that everyone has to comment on. Perhaps it's just because red hair is rare (only 4% of the population have it), or because no one in my family has ever been a red head, (or perhaps because my husband had joked about having a redhead prior to us having children), but whatever the reasoning, Anya being ginger was/is definitely a talking point. (Hi mum, by the way, love you!).
I should be clear, no one has, as yet, spoken badly about my Anya's hair colour, but everyone makes a thing of it. Whether it's little old ladies who say 'hasn't she got gorgeous hair', or people asking 'where does her hair colour come from?',everyone notices it. Sometimes I joke that she's out little ginger-ninja, and then I get "aw, there's nothing wrong with being ginger". I don't think people think it looks bad, I just think everyone knows that it can be a source of piss-taking, and they therefore feel sorry for her. I do, however, think it helps that she's a girl, I think being a ginger boy would be harder, boys seem to pick on each other more with regard to physical characteristics, even into adulthood.

So what's the problem? Well, I worry. I worry because people are shits and before she was even born, Anya had something that the bullies in this world could use against her. I worry because I regularly see and hear jokes about ginger people, and I hear people talking about redheads in a negative way. I'm all for a bit of light-hearted micky-taking, and as an adult that may be fine, but for children it can be so hard. And I want, as we all do, for my children to always be happy. I cannot protect my children from all of the difficulties they will face growing up, but I feel that Anya already has an extra hurdle to overcome, because, at some point, someone will be mean to her about her hair, and that's just not fair. I am probably worrying with little reason, she seems to be to be a strong-headed child (is that the red hair gene?!), who will find a way to cope with whatever life throws at her, and I hope she will see bullies for the insecure people that they really are. Besides, what child doesn't have something about them that makes them 'stand out'?

I really hope that we are becoming a more tolerant society, when it comes to diversity and difference. Today's world already seems like a different one to that which I grew up in, in terms of equality.  I don't think, for one second, that I can compare being a redhead to the struggles of those persecuted groups in society, but there is still an element of ingrained prejudice amongst people surrounding being ginger, otherwise no one would have to comment on it at all. My mother-in-law insisted for a long time that Anya's hair 'isn't ginger, it's auburn', like that was better. But if there's nothing wrong with being ginger, why does it matter? (FYI, 'auburn' and 'ginger'? Pretty much the same thing).

Interestingly, as an aside, different parts of the world view red hair differently, but in the UK (where it is more prevalent than many other countries), it has a rather negative connotation. 
This article has some interesting facts about being a redhead! https://thegingerrevolutionmovement.wordpress.com/2011/12/09/ginger-facts-myths/


I suppose all I can do is hope that I'm worrying about nothing (as is often the case as a parent), but be there to support Anya if I'm not. To me, and all who know her, she will always just be the funny, smart and brilliant Anya, red hair and all.




Right, now to write a blog about why the chuff her hair hasn't grown and how that makes me worry, even though it looks like she couldn't give less of a shit.......